Sunday, March 19, 2017

Fractured Heart - Broken,Shattered,Smashed,Snapped,Cracked

Fracture , verb, to break or cause to break

Pretty heavy blog title ain't it??!!

This is a little story about my fractured heart and the quilt that came to be from it


This is the pattern by Kathy Doughty in her book Making Quilts with Kathy Doughty of Material Obsession: 21 Authentic Projects....... that I had checked out of the local library 3 times no less and was always drawn to this quilt and it's title.

I loved the structured wonkiness and the beauty in the slightly askew.....just like my heart


These are the fabrics and the chain piecing that soothed me as I thought about this quilt and some of the fabrics in it


The plain white and the textured red print below are two of Mr OWB's shirts that as I cut up them up and smelled him while I ironed made me cry


This is the manic nature of my creating LOL that made my garage floor look like this...two on the go at once.....you all know you do it!


I worked on it every night til quite late loving the puzzle nature of laying it all out and choosing the colours of my heart


Then I had the epiphany!

This is the piece I was working on at the exact moment of his passing.....and oh how I loathed it
.
It reminded me of how I felt that night and how in my despair I felt so angry at the amount of time my hobby had taken away from my family.

How selfish I had been coveting my sewing time by myself down in our garage when I could've been spending it with him and our little girl....but yet I couldn't throw it away so of course it was destined to be the backing of my fractured heart....maybe even a band aid.


I love this quilt!


And the quilting motif by Sandra is delicious!


I forget the design name now but I think it was along the lines of " Flourishing Heart"



I really love the back now, its where it's meant to be and reminds me how far my wee heart has come from that day.

Always fractured but not lying smashed anymore, and able to look at life with joy and be so so grateful for the past I got to share with him.

Our hearts are resilient and courageous and brave and infinitely strong if we are kind to ourselves and let time do it's work.

It's always a challenge...every...single..day...but how lucky I am to have a hobby that keeps my mind and hands busy while time soothes my heart and lets it open again to the awesomeness that is around me.

Family, friends,my health and a roof over my head.

Pretty damn lucky xxx

Happy International Happiness Day my Quilty Peeps and Thankyou for hanging out from time to time...it's always welcome :)